Maybe I should have called my blog, "Confessions of a Preacher's Wife", considering I am once again about to make a confession to my weaknesses and sin. But, that's the whole point of this blog. Women sharing so others won't feel alone in their sin and will understand that all sin is forgivable, short of blaspheme against the Holy Spirit, and even that I still don't quite understand.
Ephesians 4:26 tells us not to sin in our anger.
And James 1: 19-26 says, "19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.26 If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless."
I have failed this charge at least twice in as many months. You might say, that's not so bad but when we fail to recognize the sin in our lives we are doomed to repeat it. Which is what I did. And if truth be told, it probably has happened more than twice. I just haven't recognized it quite as clearly as the two I eluded to. It's easy to justify our sins. Put the blame on the person that betrayed you or treated you with disrespect or lied to/about you. The list of 'reasons' could go on and on. The fact is, we have to take responsibility for our actions. We can't blame others for our sin.
I have a temper. Those that know me best know this first hand. I do have to say, however, that it's not as bad as it used to be. I have the Lord to thank for that. It used to be quick and explosive but the Lord has tempered it a bit over the years. It's still quick which is why I failed at 'slow to speak and quick to listen'.
When our hurt turns to anger, it's easy to spout off things that you know better than to say. A part of you doesn't care because, after all, if they hadn't done what they did...
This is what I did. Both times I reacted in anger instead of stopping to think about it and pray about it and ask for a solution to the problem. Both times what I said got back to the person I was angry with. A part of me was glad because I wanted them to know how they'd hurt me. Then the Holy Spirit begins to convict me and leads me to the scripture I referenced above. Be slow to speak and quick to listen. I've always had a problem with that. My family can attest to that.
I've made my apology to one and have yet to apologize to the other, but I will. Satan wants you to resist the Holy Spirit's convictions telling you that they deserved your wrath. He wants you to hold on to your hurt and anger. He wants you to be too embarrassed or ashamed to do the right thing. Just put it behind you and forget it. He wants you to lose the influence you may have with them for God. I refuse to let him win though.
James 4:7-10 says, "7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
Sin separates us from God. We should grieve this loss as much as losing someone we love. But all is not lost for the Christian. 1 John 1:5-10 says, "5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives."
He's not finished with me yet, He's still working on me. Thank you, Lord!
~Sharon
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