Slow To Speak, Quick To Listen

Maybe I should have called my blog,  "Confessions of a Preacher's Wife", considering I am once again about to make a confession to my weaknesses and sin. But, that's the whole point of this blog. Women sharing so others won't feel alone in their sin and will understand that all sin is forgivable, short of blaspheme against the Holy Spirit, and even that I still don't quite understand.

Ephesians 4:26 tells us not to sin in our anger. 

And James 1: 19-26 says, "19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.26 If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless."

I have failed this charge at least twice in as many months.  You might say, that's not so bad but when we fail to recognize the sin in our lives we are doomed to repeat it. Which is what I did. And if truth be told, it probably has happened more than twice. I just haven't recognized it quite as clearly as the two I eluded to.  It's easy to justify our sins. Put the blame on the person that betrayed you or treated you with disrespect or lied to/about you. The list of 'reasons' could go on and on. The fact is, we have to take responsibility for our actions. We can't blame others for our sin.

I have a temper.  Those that know me best know this first hand.  I do have to say, however, that it's not as bad as it used to be.  I have the Lord to thank for that.  It used to be quick and explosive but the Lord has tempered it a bit over the years.  It's still quick which is why I failed at 'slow to speak and quick to listen'. 

When our hurt turns to anger, it's easy to spout off things that you know better than to say.  A part of you doesn't care because, after all, if they hadn't done what they did...

This is what I did.  Both times I reacted in anger instead of stopping to think about it and pray about it and ask for a solution to the problem.  Both times what I said got back to the person I was angry with. A part of me was glad because I wanted them to know how they'd hurt me. Then the Holy Spirit begins to convict me and leads me to the scripture I referenced above.  Be slow to speak and quick to listen. I've always had a problem with that. My family can attest to that. 

I've made my apology to one and have yet to apologize to the other, but I will.  Satan wants you to resist the Holy Spirit's convictions telling you that they deserved your wrath. He wants you to hold on to your hurt and anger. He wants you to be too embarrassed or ashamed to do the right thing. Just put it behind you and forget it. He wants you to lose the influence you may have with them for God. I refuse to let him win though. 

James 4:7-10 says, "7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Sin separates us from God. We should grieve this loss as much as losing someone we love.  But all is not lost for the Christian.  1 John 1:5-10 says, "5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If  we  confess  our  sins,  he  is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives."

He's not finished with me yet, He's still working on me.  Thank you, Lord!

~Sharon

His life for Mine

I was overwhelmed Sunday, while taking communion, by the renewed realization of what Christ did for me that day on the Cross. Such a mixture of emotions from sadness to thankfulness created the same result of tears. 


On the one hand, thankfulness for the fact that because of Him this world, this body, is not the only home I have to look forward to.  In fact, scripture tells me that, as a child of God, I am an alien in this world.  That this world is actually not my home but just a temporary place to stay until I catch my ride to my real home, Heaven.


1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. 11 Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul.


Then there is the sadness due to the fact that I, someone that wasn't even born yet, was the reason He did this. He left Heaven, a place of peace, purity and perfection to come to this earth full of darkness, devastation and discontent to become the sacrifice that would turn this world upside down.  To offer us a new home that we would not otherwise have access to if not for Him. He endured things that we can't really imagine.  The physical pain He endured would have done me in after the first lash of the cat of nine tails tipped with shards of glass.  I would have called Heaven and all the angels to destroy those inflicting this pain on me as well as those who stood by and did nothing to stop them.  But most hurtful of all is the fact that because of the purity of God, unable to be in the presence of sin, turned away from His only Son, even if only for a short time.  How that must have not only hurt Jesus but God as well.   But the fact that Jesus was willing to endure all this and more brought me such guilt and pain that I did that to Him. Me, Sharon, a sinner. One that still struggles with sin and living in the desires of the flesh at times instead of living by the spirit.


Thank you, Jesus, for putting God's will before yours and thinking of me and not yourself.  Even that's hard to say.  Thank you.  It seems so selfish.  But what he did was necessary for my eternal life filled with the presence of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I can only imagine!!!


When did you come to the realization the He died for you?


View Video: Mercy Me "I Can Only Imagine"


~Sharon

Control Issues

I had a bit of an epiphany the other day.  One that made me grimace in embarrassment and yet I had to smile at myself for the shear contradiction of my thought process. Let me explain.


I've given you some insight already in my earlier post as to why Rick caught my eye as a teenager. He was fearless and that drew me to him like a magnet. He was what I wished I could be, but with that came a host of differences that when not dealt with became a wedge between us. The very thing that drew me to him was causing problems.  Was it his fault?  Not necessarily. By revealing that he was everything that I wasn't tells you that I was not fearless, in fact the exact opposite.  The cliche` "opposites attract" was true in our case. 


Back to my epiphany.  We were cruising along 84 East in Dothan with the speed limit at 55 and Rick was driving 40.  Come on! I'm thinking, don't say it Sharon, just be quiet.  But, I found myself saying it anyway. "Why are you driving so slow.  The speed limit is 55."  He says, "I know, I'm just taking it easy. I'm in no hurry."  I know, your thinking....so??  Well, let me tell you.  Driving under the speed limit is not Rick's forte. At lease, it wasn't in the past.  Which is why I started off this story or should I say confession the way I did.


There was a time that he and I would have a battle of words, to say the least, over his speeding.  I was so overly cautious in most cases that it bordered on neurosis.  How's that for self diagnosis. I had at some point in my life become afraid of things that I wasn't afraid of as a child. So, the dilemma he's faced with...danged if he does and danged if he doesn't. 


This whole scenario got me to thinking. I really have control issues!! I grew up being a dutiful child.  No, not a perfect child but I did try and do things the right way.  As much to please my mother as anything.  As an adult I began to transfer that need to be perfect to expecting those around me to be so as well, even though I wasn't and knew it was an unrealistic expectation of those around me. I hadn't yet figured out that it was also an unrealistic expectation of myself. 


My perfectionism, my need to be perfect, has only served to bring about these control issues, among others, like procrastination-a story within itself.  I don't pretend to be perfect but I do have a certain way of doing things and I get frustrated when others don't see it the way I do. If they'd just listen to me things would be so much better. That's a contradiction in itself.  I have a need to be perfect, therefore I'm not so why would the world be a better place if everyone did things my way?!  Just like Rick's driving under the speed limit. I don't want him to speed but on the other hand....you get my drift?  


A few of my pet peeves are:

• If I put time into a relationship with a friend I expect them to put the same amount of time into it also.  Can friendships be one-sided? 
• I have a certain way of cleaning my kitchen and expect anyone that cleans it to do it my way. 
• I follow the speed limit and expect Rick to do the same. ( I have to say he's much more mellow these days.  He's not the same old aggressive truck driver he used to be.)
• Thinking ahead while driving. I have a tendency to direct Rick while driving as if he's never driven before.  

Isn't there a phrase that describes this behavior?  Oh, yes.  CONTROL FREAK!


So now I'm thinking, "Who do you think you are, Sharon?"  You didn't speak the universe into existence.  You didn't form Adam from the earth or make Eve from one of his ribs. You didn't die on the cross a perfect sinless person.  Who died and made you God?  Get over yourself!!  (Of course, it just wouldn't do if someone other than God had talked to me that way.)


Whew!  Do you know how freeing that is?  To be relieved of being perfect?  And then I realize, I was never expected to be perfect in the first place. He only expects my best. I don't have all the answers but God does. I can now hand control over to the one that has perfect will and perfect timing. 


You know, I don't know why God doesn't just pick us up and shake the sin out of us. (I'm sure those that I expect too much of wish He would do just that to me.)  That's how I see my control issues, as sin.  It affects how people see me and the influence I have on those Christ puts in my path to bring to Him. 



Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV
 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
 - Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
 - Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

I'm a work in progress.  I don't have it down completely but He's not finished with me yet. 


What are your control issues?


~Sharon

Review:  

Kid's Guide to Bible Animals by Jane Landreth

PUBLISHER:  Barbour Publishing, Inc.

PUBLISHED: (September 1, 2010)

READING LEVEL:  Ages 8-12

ISBN:  9781602609518

PAPERBACK:  160 pages

Kid's Guide to Bible Animals by JANE LANDRETH

Here’s a Bible reference kids will actually want to read! Kids love animals, and the Kids’ Guide to Bible Animals will lead them on a journey of discovery. This fully-illustrated book for 8–12-year-olds details every animal, bird and insect in scripture, from antelopes to camels, donkeys to fleas, pigs to worms—100 in all. Descriptions of each creature are provided, along with details of their importance in Bible times. Intriguing “Did You Know?” sidebars highlight some of the weird and amazing aspects of the animal world. It’s all wrapped up in a bright, colorful package that kids will love.

MY REVIEW

This is a great book to get children interested and involved in reading the Bible as well as a very informative one. Mrs. Landreth explains the class of animals that each belong to, their specific characteristics, how they live, survive and communicate. She doesn't overlook animals we have no current evidence of but gives varying opinions of Bible experts regarding their existence. She gives facts that may not be commonly known as well as dispelling some information that we may have perceived as factual. The book includes Bible references for each animal and instances of their use in the Bible. I think this book is a great tool for children and would recommend it to anyone that is looking for something unique to pique their child's interest in the Bible.

~Sharon~

Heather Williams - Hallelujah - Lyrics

Forgiving Yourself

God placed the need for this blog on my heart some time ago. We all have stories to tell.  Stories that speak of pain as a result of heartache, our sins, our selfishness, betrayal, abandonment, spiritual bankruptcy, fear, guilt, and the list could go on and on.  The objective of this blog is to show how we have gone from that pain to healing by way of Christ and the help of our Christian family in order to help those who may be experiencing the same pain we have now overcome.

My name is Sharon and I want to start this blog with a story of my own, one of many to tell, as you may be able to relate. I will continue to share my stories as well as those of others.

I am a minister’s wife, of 22 years. I didn’t marry a minister; I married my high school sweetheart. I was infatuated with his looks, his personality and his fearless outlook on life. He was everything I wasn’t but wanted to be. I was 16 and the whirlwind romance came to a screeching halt 3 months later.  It changed to a dizzying realization that my life was about to change….forever. That’s when I found out I was pregnant. He had the option of turning his back on me but to his credit he insisted we marry.  

In 1973 Rick and I were married at the church I was raised in for most of my childhood. This was the beginning of a 13 year rebellion against God. I didn’t see it as rebellion, but it was. Within 6 years I had 3 children. Our life was a mess, to say the least. Not because of the children but because of our immaturity and selfishness. We put ourselves first. We were more interested in pleasing ourselves than being good parents. We partied and had fun instead of paying bills. We moved on a regular basis and always struggled. We fought, literally, on numerous occasions. Our children witnessed things that no child should ever see. I lost count of how many times we separated. This is just the tip of the scale on what they went through.

Our children deserved a better life than we gave them. I’m not talking about having all the material things a child wants. They deserved stability, security, and safety.

This is the pain that I have lived with for the 24 years I’ve walked with Christ. Rather 23 years of those 24. It wasn’t until last year when a friend and teacher and minister, Mike-that fills in when Rick is gone-presented a message using Hebrews 10:22,23, “let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. (Be sure to read the whole chapter.)

I had asked God’s forgiveness for those sins, I had asked forgiveness of my children, but I had not yet forgiven myself. I think I felt that if I forgave myself that it would negate what my children had gone through, as if it hadn’t happened and by doing so deprive my children yet again of something they deserved-recognition of their pain. Maybe I even thought God hadn’t forgiven me, after all I didn’t deserve it.  Who does that to their children and deserves forgiveness?  But scripture tells me that as a Christian I can be forgiven when I repent. So when I fully accepted that forgiveness and saw in scripture that God was faithful to His word and because of that I could be cleansed of a guilty conscience, I finally was able to forgive myself and not live in that guilt.

  

Our past plays a huge part in who we are today, no matter what age we are. We have a tendency to let our past dictate our present and future in a negative way-which is what I did for many years, until I really came to know the Lord. But, with the Lords help we can change that negative affect to a positive one.

2 Corinthians 1:4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

View video: Sanctus Real "Forgiven"


~Sharon