Slow To Speak, Quick To Listen

Maybe I should have called my blog,  "Confessions of a Preacher's Wife", considering I am once again about to make a confession to my weaknesses and sin. But, that's the whole point of this blog. Women sharing so others won't feel alone in their sin and will understand that all sin is forgivable, short of blaspheme against the Holy Spirit, and even that I still don't quite understand.

Ephesians 4:26 tells us not to sin in our anger. 

And James 1: 19-26 says, "19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.26 If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless."

I have failed this charge at least twice in as many months.  You might say, that's not so bad but when we fail to recognize the sin in our lives we are doomed to repeat it. Which is what I did. And if truth be told, it probably has happened more than twice. I just haven't recognized it quite as clearly as the two I eluded to.  It's easy to justify our sins. Put the blame on the person that betrayed you or treated you with disrespect or lied to/about you. The list of 'reasons' could go on and on. The fact is, we have to take responsibility for our actions. We can't blame others for our sin.

I have a temper.  Those that know me best know this first hand.  I do have to say, however, that it's not as bad as it used to be.  I have the Lord to thank for that.  It used to be quick and explosive but the Lord has tempered it a bit over the years.  It's still quick which is why I failed at 'slow to speak and quick to listen'. 

When our hurt turns to anger, it's easy to spout off things that you know better than to say.  A part of you doesn't care because, after all, if they hadn't done what they did...

This is what I did.  Both times I reacted in anger instead of stopping to think about it and pray about it and ask for a solution to the problem.  Both times what I said got back to the person I was angry with. A part of me was glad because I wanted them to know how they'd hurt me. Then the Holy Spirit begins to convict me and leads me to the scripture I referenced above.  Be slow to speak and quick to listen. I've always had a problem with that. My family can attest to that. 

I've made my apology to one and have yet to apologize to the other, but I will.  Satan wants you to resist the Holy Spirit's convictions telling you that they deserved your wrath. He wants you to hold on to your hurt and anger. He wants you to be too embarrassed or ashamed to do the right thing. Just put it behind you and forget it. He wants you to lose the influence you may have with them for God. I refuse to let him win though. 

James 4:7-10 says, "7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

Sin separates us from God. We should grieve this loss as much as losing someone we love.  But all is not lost for the Christian.  1 John 1:5-10 says, "5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If  we  confess  our  sins,  he  is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives."

He's not finished with me yet, He's still working on me.  Thank you, Lord!

~Sharon

Forgiving Yourself

God placed the need for this blog on my heart some time ago. We all have stories to tell.  Stories that speak of pain as a result of heartache, our sins, our selfishness, betrayal, abandonment, spiritual bankruptcy, fear, guilt, and the list could go on and on.  The objective of this blog is to show how we have gone from that pain to healing by way of Christ and the help of our Christian family in order to help those who may be experiencing the same pain we have now overcome.

My name is Sharon and I want to start this blog with a story of my own, one of many to tell, as you may be able to relate. I will continue to share my stories as well as those of others.

I am a minister’s wife, of 22 years. I didn’t marry a minister; I married my high school sweetheart. I was infatuated with his looks, his personality and his fearless outlook on life. He was everything I wasn’t but wanted to be. I was 16 and the whirlwind romance came to a screeching halt 3 months later.  It changed to a dizzying realization that my life was about to change….forever. That’s when I found out I was pregnant. He had the option of turning his back on me but to his credit he insisted we marry.  

In 1973 Rick and I were married at the church I was raised in for most of my childhood. This was the beginning of a 13 year rebellion against God. I didn’t see it as rebellion, but it was. Within 6 years I had 3 children. Our life was a mess, to say the least. Not because of the children but because of our immaturity and selfishness. We put ourselves first. We were more interested in pleasing ourselves than being good parents. We partied and had fun instead of paying bills. We moved on a regular basis and always struggled. We fought, literally, on numerous occasions. Our children witnessed things that no child should ever see. I lost count of how many times we separated. This is just the tip of the scale on what they went through.

Our children deserved a better life than we gave them. I’m not talking about having all the material things a child wants. They deserved stability, security, and safety.

This is the pain that I have lived with for the 24 years I’ve walked with Christ. Rather 23 years of those 24. It wasn’t until last year when a friend and teacher and minister, Mike-that fills in when Rick is gone-presented a message using Hebrews 10:22,23, “let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. (Be sure to read the whole chapter.)

I had asked God’s forgiveness for those sins, I had asked forgiveness of my children, but I had not yet forgiven myself. I think I felt that if I forgave myself that it would negate what my children had gone through, as if it hadn’t happened and by doing so deprive my children yet again of something they deserved-recognition of their pain. Maybe I even thought God hadn’t forgiven me, after all I didn’t deserve it.  Who does that to their children and deserves forgiveness?  But scripture tells me that as a Christian I can be forgiven when I repent. So when I fully accepted that forgiveness and saw in scripture that God was faithful to His word and because of that I could be cleansed of a guilty conscience, I finally was able to forgive myself and not live in that guilt.

  

Our past plays a huge part in who we are today, no matter what age we are. We have a tendency to let our past dictate our present and future in a negative way-which is what I did for many years, until I really came to know the Lord. But, with the Lords help we can change that negative affect to a positive one.

2 Corinthians 1:4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

View video: Sanctus Real "Forgiven"


~Sharon